In which my male friends show me how to be a nice guy

Or do they?

Harry Met Sally and told the truth, but she never 'fessed up. Of course women don't need to be sexually attracted to male friends, but they do need those male friends to be sexually attracted to them.

So I'm torturing myself because I want want want this guy to call me. At this point a text would be a welcome signal I'd invaded his consciousness.

My dear friend Eric, the first man to make me feel likable in the wake of G's stealth, intercontinental departure, would not have been so attentive had he not been attracted to me and I know it. He persists in sweetness I believe because of the possibility we might, ya know, do it. But we won't. That's my call, and I know it. If I wanted to I do believe it would not have taken much to get him there.

My problem is that when I am sexually attracted to an available man, bang! Yup. Bang. There's no chance to figure out if I'd even like to be friends. So here I am, trying it differently, and in just a few days I'm thinking well, just get the dude in the sack. FUCK IT. Do I not want to be friends? I have enough friends, don't I?

Or can I credit myself with the paradigm shift? Have I found the place where lover and loved have merged and it is I and I am it. So hum.