Dude, I wrote my book in 30 days

From the match.com file.

6 Sept: I respond with mild interest to an email from a man to whom I'm not that attracted except he's crafted an email that manages to be grammatically correct and funny, albeit it's been a week or more since he sent it. With blistering speed he replies, what took you so long, etc. etc. He's funny. I reply and a repartee is born. Back and forth multiple times a day.

8 Sept: Said man, aka "autumnchill", sends his morning dispatch to tell me he's about to go on a date and so I shan't be hearing from him. Is this a joke? Not moved to care I send my phone number and tell him I've sworn off pen pals.

24 Sept: AC writes to tell me it's over with him and that over woman, and between him and NYC women in general, but he's willing to grandfather me in. Do I have a car? (AC lives in CT.)

Do I have a car? I he fucking kidding me? I live in the greatest city in the world, and this man wants to know, do I have a car? Do I write back and tell him he's a pompous ass, or just let him figure that one out? I mull on this a couple of days.

25 September: My birthday.

26 September: Left in a magnanimous spirit from birthday festivities, I write AC to brush him off gently. I lead with a joke, maybe not good, then go on to say, gosh, I've kinda turned my life upside down to move to NYC and write this book, so I just don't think this is good for me at the moment. Again, with blistering speed he responds, not to say he's sorry to hear that (a note I could do without as well), rather, to inform me he wrote a book last year in 30 days, Oct 2005 he adds--validating the claim, naturally. He discusses his agent, the vicious world of publishing, how he won some $125 award. Upshot? NOT published. Mind you, this goes on for SIX PARAGRAPHS. Oh, and yeah, last year, between trips--this is while working and parenting full time--he popped out another one.

And that's how I was saved from wasting potential years with a colossal ass.