When I put a spike into my vein

Then I swear that I just don't know.

Sorry, Lou, I know I'm totally bungling your lyrics, but the point is that I had no idea what an apt metaphor this would turn out to be. The love blanket I get from at least providing myself with some semblance of financial security being the stand in for heroin. Me being the addict. Yesterday it was all, I'm ready for my methadone, please. And today it's all, maybe I can nestle in here through the term of the contract!

Yesterday I found some yoga teacher training opportunities. The San Fran job fell through. And I discussed the possibility of staying on here to do a conference. The thing is, if I stay on, I want to finish. Get my home leave and retirement payouts AND get some time off to do the training.

Let's see how that shoots up the dropper's neck.