Ask and you shall receive?

So much for my desperation. Yesterday had to be one of the strangest days. Why do I continue to be stupified by men's advances?

The hairdresser?

As you may have seen on the previous entries, I woke up thinking if I didn't get laid I might die. Yes, I was still feeling that way at 5 in the afternoon, so when the hairdresser kissed me I just thought, OK, that was weird. Did I like it? Do I want him? What would it be like to do it with a Lebanese man? I told him to call me the following day. Naturally he follows me to my car.

Now, in the U.S. this would be call the police time. But we're not in the U.S. and I know somehow that this guy is pretty much harmless.

He gets in the car.

Still, I'm not worried.

I want him to maul me a little bit.

He does.

Then he whips his dick out and puts my hands on it.

I have to go, I tell him, great fun, but I have a dinner party I'm supposed to be at.

Finish me, he says.

And there it is.

Finish you? I'm thinking. FINISH YOU? What about me you fuck? I just met your girlfriend not ten minutes ago, get her to do the job. Then you can finish ME. Except, nevermind, cause you just showed me everything I want to know about you.

Listen, I tell him, be a good boy and show me you know how to draw out your pleasure. I have to go.

What happened to the chick who used to slap men, throw drinks in their faces?

Even worse, the next day, I'm thinking, well, so what, why not? You could use it. Mercifully his 40 phone calls pretty much called to mind crosses and garlic and wooden stakes, so I did not go there, but.

Is this what the rest of it is going to be like? I used to be able to get any man (or woman) I wanted, and now I'm just passively accepting whatever shard of sexual attraction comes my way? Because frankly, at the end of the day, the biggest problem with the hairdresser wasn't his come on, but that I just wasn't that attracted to him. I did however, love the job he did on my hair so I hope this has blown over well and good enough by the time I need a new cut. And that's what happened to the drink-in-the-face girl.