I don't know just where I'm going

But I'm going to try for the kingdom if I can.

It's here. The jumping off place. Let me say it a thousand times. I give you permission baby, you deserve a chance to enjoy what you've worked worked worked so hard for, sweetie. Fucking get out of that sand pit, take a time out, cry, rage, laugh, sit in silence. You will find another job. You will be employable.

I'm not exactly sure where the big fear comes from. I've saved a little money, enough to blow out and head off to Bali for a couple of months. Then New Zealand, then Hawaii, then back to the 'Burgh. If I remember, I need four trips, so I might need to throw in a quick visit to Cambodia. What the hell.

Maybe it's just the idea that I really don't have anyplace I need to get to in any kind of a hurry. It's not the idea of a lack of connectedness, or maybe that's exactly what it is.

The logistics are kinda killing me. I don't have a car. Ultimately I don't want a car. I think. I'm just not sure where I'll want to be next. If I stay in the Burgh I want to be able to live--see? Here I'm projecting. But I can't help it. Because the plan kinda falters. That itinerary really takes me into March, which would mean missing the one yoga teacher training thing in Pittsburgh.

And here I went into a long and detailed search on other yoga teacher training opportunities around the world.

And now for my next post...I'm going to try to nullify my life.