Out with the old

In with the new?

Although at times it's been a conscious choice, most of the time I don't think about it at all. When I'm done, I'm done. With boyfriends moreso than lovers. Lovers can still fit. But where does the boyfriend go? I have just one slot for a boyfriend. If he's not fitting there, chances are pretty good I'd prefer to hang out with a friend. There was some reason that shark stopped moving forward.

Maybe it's the complete disappearance of the husband. He's just gone. My need, my craving for male attention is not. My need to figure out what the fuck happened, sharp. Yet the more I think about it, the more fluid it becomes. I try to create new memories, see where I am. Still nothing. I look back. The significant male relationships of my life?

...like a nymphomaniac who binds a thousand into strange brotherhood I wait for each one of you to confess. Leonard Cohen